James "The Mullet" Hubbard Wiki
James "The Mullet" Hubbard James "The Mullet" Hubbard '''(born October 7 1999) is a worldwide mullet enthusiast best known for his rallies to raise awareness for Mulletism. He is a man who believes he is god, the holy Jesus and and above all else, superior to everyone. In reality, he is just a dirty vegan. Personal life Hubbard was born with a mullet and a Bundaberg can in hand, he is an avid anime watcher and loves Hentai. He currently resides in Emerald, Victoria with some Hairy-Tittied Yetis in the local forest. He has a pet whale, and is known as a passionate anal sex enthusiast (ASE) He attends weekly meetings with other ASE members. He is proudly supporting Donald J Trump in the election as he is also a racist piece of shit. He strongly dislikes punjabs, Arabians, Asians, Caucasians, African-Americans, native Americans, Mexicans, aliens, Allianz insurance and Hillary Clinton. He is known to masturbate to his 26.5" tall Darth Vader Figure hourly, and half-hourly to Hentai. He loves a good bat. Medical Conditions Hubbard has known medical conditions which include * Mulletism (self diagnosed, yet to be confirmed as a legitimate condition) *Veganism *Chlamydia *AIDS *Herpes *Obesity *Diabetes *Crippling depression *Osteoporosis *Breast Cancer *Testicular Cancer * Micro Penis (approx. 0.8 inches) *Animal Fetishes *Hepatitis *Gonorrhea *Down syndrome *Premature ejaculation *21 different types of cancers *Dwarfism *Tourettes *Kinky anime fetish *Every known phobia. Star Wars and Darth Vader Hubbard is incredibly obsessed with the Star Wars franchise. He has many old and new figurines that contribute as sperm-catchers. His $499 26.5" tall Limited Edition Light Up Darth Vader Figure is his life. He he recieved it as a gift for his 17th birthday and ejaculated immediately, even during the unwrapping. He broke the world record for the Most Times Ejaculating in One Hour within the hour of the unwrapping. Star Wars Battlefront has been a big part of his current life. He has almost reached the maximum level and is keen to ejaculate over that too, but his micro-penis problem could cause some discomfort, however Hubbard proclaimed that won't deter this wank addiction. He constantly sounds like a retard in front of friends and family when he explains to people that he is a Sith Lord. James was once in an altercation with a police officer when they attempted to arrest him for public disturbance when he was found masturbating in the Knox City EB Games store while looking at the newest range of Darth Vader merchandise. Child Abduction Reports The classic James thing to do is snag little children from the park located nearby to his home with the Yetis and take them behind the local Woolworths store. In these cases the children went missing and were never reported being seen again. He has kidnapped 35 children under the age of 10, and the police have been seen participating in these demonic acts. Many people stated these acts as "truly sickening". He currently has been reported watching a little girl who is a regular in the local park and many wonder when she will go missing.. He pays no child support for the 69 girls he has slept with because he had murdered all the children. Anal Beads and Hubbard Hubbard loves Anal beads in his dick hole. He has a specially made selection of penis hole anal beads which he sells at local Sunday markets. The prices range from $19.99 to $189.99 with varying qualities and features. He has said his ribbed beads are for "full pleasure" and "hardcore mullet enthusiasts only". Getting the "Mullet Look" James has stated that getting the "Mullet" look is a challenge, and you must be able to maintain the curls and the majestic flow of the air going through the mullet, which creates "a truly magnificent sight". Grease is required to get the mullet look, if your hair is oily you are unable to achieve the mullet look. You have to maintain that level of greasiness so that you look like a bogan, red-neck son of a bitch. For one to achieve the true mullet power they must be arrogant and have not washed their hair in a matter of 3-5 years. Credit to Dub Paetz AFL Career '''Canberra Crocs (2012-2013) Hubbard was drafted by the Canberra Crocs football club with their final selection, and was the final overall pick in the 2011 AFL Draft. Hubbard made his senior debut in their maiden match against the Brisbane Lions, where he stood up as to grab a whopping 0 disposals for the whole match. He had 0 disposals for his first 5 matches, however when he met his idol Ivan Maric he was granted a beautiful flowing mullet and after that moment his career skyrocketed, but not really because even with his beautiful mullet he didn't collect a single disposal the rest of the year. He was delisted by the Canberra Crocs after 1 unsuccessful season, and he won the Worst AFL Player Ever award. AFL DCD and the Melbourne Munts (2013-present) After his disastrous stint with the Canberra Crocs, Hubbard realised he would only thrive with his AFL skill in the AFL DCD (Australian Football League Dumb Cunt Devision) Hubbard found success signing with the Melbourne Munts where he has been playing since 2013. His team succeeded in the years before his arrival, winning 3 premierships from 2010-2012, however when Hubbard arrived the team fell to the bottom of the ladder and have lost every game since his signing. However, he believes that nobody can beat him in the ruck because he 'is the best'. School Life The Mullet was a bit of a down syndrome wombat during his early school life. He was exceptionally good at achieving straight D's for 7 years (prep-grade 2). He had no real talent, until the beginning of High School, when his was inspired to grow The Mullet. That was when he really started to shine as the up-himself kid in school. Even in year 7 he thought that he was the ruler of everyone, and still to this day believes so. The Mullet, being the obvious supreme-leader of the entire year level, decided to stay on the down-low, having minimal friends, to ensure nobody would pick him to be the next Adolf Hitler. He was also a little pussy bitch for not standing up for one of his only friends when he was in a pickle. Even so, later that year he won the Ultimate C.O.C.K. Award, the Continually Obese and Confident Kid award, which he cherished for years. Few years later when he failed year 7 twice, he decided that playing AFL DCD (Australian Football League Dumb Cunt Division) was his choice of career. One Man Army The Afghanistan Campaign Due to his overly aggressive nature, Hubbard decided that he had had enough of the Islamic State Terrorists (ISIS) and decided to take measures into his own hands, leading a self-proclaimed "One Man Army", a heavily armed militia group made up of only himself. His campaign against terrorism began in Afghanistan, with beliefs that "All Muslims Are Terrorists" , classically stated by one of his fellow classmates back in the day. He proceeded to Afghanistan and exterminated their entire population, assuming that they where all terrorists, in only 45 minutes. The Iraq Campaign After 24 hours in Afghanistan he moved into the war-torn country of Iraq. The country was already fighting a civil war, but Hubbard didn't care, he decided that they where all going to be terrorists eventually and completely wiped-out both the Rebels and the Royal Iraqi Army in a matter of hours, with help from Russian President Vladimir Putin and a few nuclear weapons. He, after his campaigns was called a "Hero" and "Savior" by Hillary Clinton. But Hubbard didn't like Hillary Clinton.... Hillary Clinton Assassination Attempt As a die-hard Trump Supporter, he decided that the only way he was going to win the election was to eliminate the opposition. So Hubbard although being offered a "small payment" of 100 Million dollars, all he wanted was an all-you-can-eat buffet to take down the Democrat where she stood. So in the off-season of October 2016 he planned the attack, but it didn't quite go as planned when he spotted a large cake in the foyer, and decided the attack could wait. He quickly devoured the large chocolate cake, immediately shit it out, then proceeded to eat the shit as he claimed it was 'absolutely scrumdiddlyumcious' Latest activity Photos and videos are a great way to add visuals to your wiki. Find videos about your topic by exploring Fandom's Video Library. Category:Browse __FORCETOC__